Inca Madness, LA la land and a very special cruise

The last 3 weeks of my trip were mental.. So much so that I didn't even have time to blog, so there's quite a bit to catch up on... I arrived in Cuzco from the Galápagos to driving rain and about a 15 degree temperature drop and I thought, jeez? What am I doing here!!? I've got to go trekking and camping in this?? But then the sun came out and all was ok again. Fate came and intervened again when it came to my trek. I'd booked on the Lares trek you see and when I went to find out when the orientation meeting was they said I was the only one booked on it. What?? So I'm going on my own?? No way!! As much as I'm sure it would of been great I wanted to go with a group, obviously. So I changed to the jungle adventure trek which, as fate would have it, was sooo much more fun and I had the most amazing group (thanks guys!!). So thank you fate, you are pretty cool. We started off at the top of snow capped mountains about 4000m above sea level....

Then we mountain biked down 42 km to the nearest town. It was totally amazing, taking in the beautiful scenery whilst hanging on for dear life trying not to fall off, it was a total rush. We were meant to go white water rafting that afternoon, but the rivers suddenly became too swollen and dangerous so it got cancelled, we drank beer and played super snap instead!!! The next day we trekked for 8 hours through stunning scenery, up huge hills, over land slides and across treacherously narrow paths... 

Which was worth it when we finally made it to the hot springs which were gorgeous.

The next day we went zip lining, which I loved. Head first in superman position was my favourite, it felt like I was flying. Upside down was cool too although I got covered in mud and caught my foot on the wire on the way down. What an awesome experience. 

A few more hours trekking lead us to Aguascalientes the town just below Macchu Picchu, phew, we were nearly there! The next morning we finally made it up to Macchu Picchu. Which is totally amazing, of course. And there we go, another tick off my dream list. Cool. 

Copped a feel at the top of course!!...

LA was fabulous!! Making the Spin Mop Mike video an absolute highlight!! Many lovely friends and fabulous people made it amazing, it was a brilliant few days, thanks everyone!! 

And the cruise... Well, what can I say!!??? No words can describe it so I'm going to keep that one to myself! Haha!! Thanks to all the very special people who made it so great. 

And so there it all is... 6 week adventure, done. 

Dream list complete (before I make a new one!!!)

Coming back to reality was tough. As you can imagine. But now that I'm over the initial shock I'm full of inspiration to plan the next adventure..... Watch this space...

Xxxx

Volcanos and White Tip Reef Sharks

So.... This week I have.....

1....Climbed a volcano....

Sierra Negra is the largest volcano on Isla Isabela with a crater 10km wide. The hike was 16km long to get up to the main crater and also check out a few smaller craters near by. The volcanic landscape is spectacular and it definitely feels like you are on Mars (not that I've been on Mars but you know what I mean....). It was hot and hard work but worth it for the stunning view over the rest of Isabela and her other smaller volcanos. A nice little warm up for the Inca Trail. 

2......Snorkelled with White Tip Reef Sharks....

Los Tunnelles is a snorkelling spot about 40 mins by boat from the port of Isabela. Volcanic lava has formed a strange landscape of rugged tunnels that juts out into the ocean. It's a really beautiful spot and the reason I went there is that White Tip Reef sharks hang out in caves. Yeah they do. You have to dive down to see them in the dark depths of the caves. Then they swam out right underneath me. Very cool. They are quite small, like 4-5 ft, but really gorgeous. And I actually have photos this time! But they are on my camera so I will upload them soon.

3....Hung out on the beach......

4.....Drank beers at sunset.....

5.....Left Isla Isabela *sob* and got the ferry back to Santa Cruz...

6.....Left Santa Cruz and got a taxi, boat, bus and then flight back to Ecuador...(as I left Santa Cruz I saw a Sting Ray off the boat. Cool little goodbye spot)...

So now I'm in Quito waiting for my flight to Lima. The next stop is Cuzco (in the morning) where I have 2 days to acclimatise and get ready for the Inca Trail! Eek! Wish me luck!!! 

(....PS: Add to dream list ~ 4 White Tip Reef sharks, an eagle ray and a sting ray).

Big love xxxxxx 

HELLO HAMMERHEADS

Jeez, that arrow, its kinda powerful. Just when you think things can't get any better... You have one of the most incredible days of your life.

I'm a great believer in fate. And that everything happens for a reason. I find it helps to make sense of most of the crazy mixed up things that happen in life. So I got to Isabella Island yesterday and met a couple of friends who had been diving the day before. The dive was amazing, they saw giant manta rays and hammerheads! Shit, I thought, I need to get in there!! In the restaurant on a table near us there happened to be their dive master who owns the only certified shop on the island. So I go straight over and say that I need to go diving on Monday or Tues as I'm gagging to see hammerheads. But the dive shop was closed all next week! NO!!!! To cut a long (and quite boring) story short I managed to change my plans and set up a dive for Sunday. So fate was definitely involved there somewhere cos if I hadn't been in that restaurant I would of missed out. 

So we set out this morning on a beautifully calm day. Isabella is awesomely stunning, a sting ray swam by us as we got the boat out to the main dive boat and sea lions hung out on all the water taxis docked in the bay. The dive site is called Isla Tortuga and it is actually a volcanic crater that half collapsed in the sea. We dove into the crater mouth on the second dive which was pretty cool. We went down on the first dive and were waiting to head off when 2 giant manta rays swam over us, they must have had about a 20 ft wing span and are massive! And beautiful! WOW!! Then out of the depths I saw my first hammerhead, amazing! Then another! Then I started to run out of air, so I had to go up. But as I swam to the surface another giant manta swam just below me and I could clearly see the markings in its back. 

On the second dive there were about 4 or 5 hammerheads. They are so cool. And pretty big, about 9 ft long. One swam right in front of us, only a couple of meters away it was awesome. How cool is that!! I am beyond stoked!! The only thing I am slightly gutted about is that I didn't get any photos (sorry Leo) as the dive master was too busy finding sharks and no one else had a camera. But it did happen, honest, it wasn't an actual dream! Oh and we also saw 5 white tip reef sharks too. What an incredible day. I will never forget that. Ever.

The Dream list (is hotting up)....

5 x Giant Manta Rays = TICK

Loads of Mobula Manta Rays = TICK

Lots of Sting Rays = TICK

Eagle Ray = TICK

7 x Hammerhead Sharks = TICK

5 x White Tip Reef Sharks = TICK

Oh yeah!! xxxx 

Naughty Sharks

The sharks are being naughty. Well elusive at least. Very frustrating. I managed two more dives without being sea sick which is bloody great. But no sharks... We spent ages taking it in turns looking at sea horses, which are pretty cool but all I could think about were sharks. Where are all the sharks!? There's me looking out into the murky depths, willing a hammerhead to appear, but no joy. Damn it. Two sea lions came to play when we first went down on the dive. They were super cool and came right up and played next to us. A beautiful eagle ray swam over the reef beside me and I found a couple of sting rays hiding in the sand. Really cool but where are the sharks!??

El Churro tortoise reserve is where some of the giant tortoises hang out. They are massive! Huge. One of them was 165 years old, which is pretty damn good going. They are beautiful creatures. 

Yesterday we visited San Cristobal island on a day tour. The first place we went was a sea lion colony with loads of baby sea lions. Oh. My. Goodness! They are super cute, like ridiculously cute. And so friendly, you can get right up close. But not too close, cos mama or papa gets a bit mad. I went in snorkelling with them and they were playing in the shallows bombing around right past me. I even managed to take some footage of them, which is a bit shaky but not too bad! I also saw a giant sea turtle. He was feeding off the rocks and not even remotely bothered that I was right next to him taking loads of photos. Such a tourist. 

I've now moved on to Isabella island, the largest of the islands. Me and a couple of friends are going to go up to the volcano tomorrow. Then the search for sharks starts again with some more diving and snorkelling trips... I need to find sharks!! 

Wish me luck, laters xxx 

Living the Dream and Puking my Guts up

The wildlife here is incredible, it's like being in an open zoo, it's nuts. We visited El Garrapatero beach on Saturday which is about half an hour from Puerto Ayora where I'm staying. There were about four pelicans hanging out whilst we went swimming. Dive bombing for fish, not remotely bothered by us. Then we realised that there was a flamingo reserve just behind the beach where wild flamingos were hanging out, doing flamingo stuff. On the way back in the taxi we stopped to see my first giant tortoise, she was a small one (still quite big!) and very cute.

Remember the arrow? Well it certainly was true that, despite the set backs, I was about to be propelled into something very spectacular. I went diving with Manta Rays!!! YEP!!! And not just one but loads!!! Oh yeah!!!!

I was pretty nervous before the dive and anxious about remembering everything. I hadn't been for 2 years and that was before my treatment so my body was very different then. But once down there it all fell into place and I remembered how much I loved being down in the under water world. Just like above the water the wildlife is awesome. Hundreds of fish, 2 sea lions whizzed by, 2 huge turtles, oh and a sting ray! Oh yes, a sting ray came and hung out right underneath me for a while! Cool as. 

It was quite early on in the dive when I looked above me and there were 30 or 40 Manta Rays swimming over me. It was awesome. At first I thought I'd imagined it, surely I wasn't going to see that many Mantas on my first dive!!!?? But yep, there they were. Nuts! It's like they knew I was coming!!! Three more swam close by, then later in the dive the huge school swam past us again! Dreams really do come true people!!! (Photos to follow..)

The second dive wasn't quite so successful. In fact it didn't happen at all. It was really rough at the next site and I started to get really sea sick. I got all my equipment on and we were about to go off the boat backwards when I started puking my guts up. Shit bags. I was totally gutted. My group didn't see any sharks luckily, otherwise I would of been beyond sore. Determined not to let this stop me diving I have another dive 2 dives booked in on Thurs. Fingers crossed for no more puking. 

But what an incredible day!!!!! 

Dream list so far....

Manta Rays = TICK

Sting Ray = TICK

Wahooooooo xxx 

57 hours later... Hello paradise

So I was nearly at the end of my journey.. Only one more flight to go. It was about 2am and I was hanging out at Quitio airport in Ecuador which is brand new and very jazzy. I think I was going a bit nuts by this point, after hardly any sleep. I went to check the flight status and it was only showing as  bloody cancelled!! Nearing hysteria I had a laugh to myself and then thought, shit, what do I do now!!?? When the airline counter finally opened the guy didn't seem remotely concerned and just said to check in anyway as there was another flight I can get... Ok so that's a big relief, I don't know how much longer I could hang out in airports before I totally lose the plot...

The journey:

4 hours Braunton to Heathrow

10 hours Heathrow to Miami

4 hours wait in Miami

5 hours Miami to Lima

16 hour wait in Lima (total loon by this point)

2 hours Lima to Quito

7 hour wait in Quito

3 hours Quito to Galápagos 

PHEW!!!! What a mission.

I met a lovely guy at Quito airport who used to be a diving instructor. He had a transfer sorted once we got to the Galápagos from the airport in Isla Baltra over to Santa Cruz so I jumped in and finally made it to paradise!!! 

So here I am. My hotel is lovely and a total bargain, thanks to Marianella, Emily's lovely friend who sorted it out for me. And you can see Sea Lions and Iguanas hanging out on the rocks from the hotel balcony, bonus! 

After some much needed sleep last night I ventured out to find food this morning.. A girl on the next table had a couple of snorkels so who better to ask where to go snorkelling.?? She turned out to be great and invited me on a boat trip to a beach over the other side of the island this afternoon.. So off I go later to see if I can find any rays..

Tomorrow is shark day. My first dive is at a site good for hammerheads. So fingers crossed they show up for me!

Laters xxxxx 

2 planes and 24 hours...

One of the main worries about going travelling on your own is will you meet anyone to talk to? Or will you be talking to yourself the whole time...? I decided to buy myself a glass of champagne at the airport (I'm not posh, they had run out of prosecco...) when I noticed the guy next to me was drinking beer and coffee, a sure fire conversation starter.. It turned out he had just spend New Years in Prague and was trying to stay awake for his flight back to Canada. We nearly missed both our flights, not realising there was a train to the  gate.. Oops! Then I got on the plane and sat next to a lady that had a pink zebra print head cushion.. Hello! That's another sure fire winner in my book. Opening line..'oh, I'm obsessed with zebra print!' She was lovely and like me also had one brother and one nephew and she lived in Miami and gave me some fab advice on where to go and how to get around. So not much talking to myself as yet... I arrived in Lima at 5am this morning and I don't check in for my next flight till 7.30pm so I'm working my way round the restaurants and doing my best hanging out whilst keeping a very close eye on my bags. Had my first embarrassing 'Spanish' conversation. I thought the lady was asking where I was leaving Lima for... But she actually just wanted my table!! Best get the phrase book back out!!! Only 24 hours and 2 more flights to go!! Yes!! 

Grabbing life by the balls

So.... Here I am at Heathrow Airport soon to board a flight to Peru. Exactly 2 years and 16 days ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. 7 months after that I was given the all clear. I am very lucky. Not a day goes by that I don't think about those who haven't been as lucky. Inspired and in awe of their bravery I decided I absolutely must grab life firmly by the balls and live out my dreams (well, most of them anyway...!). So I'm about to embark on a six week adventure on my own to do exactly that. And I thought I might as well blog my face off on the way and keep you updated, seeing as you went through the whole cancer journey with me, this should be much more fun! There have been a few stumbling blocks on the way to this day... The initial indecision (cruise or research trip?? Or both!!??), the cancellation of my Manta Ray research trip (last minute), the logistics of the last minute change of plan and the travel insurance saga (loved the quote for £3,600 !! Actually laughed down the phone)... But I read an analogy on twitter (the font of all knowledge) the other day that I liked. I decided to think of the set backs as if they were an arrow.. They are dragging you back to propel you into something quite spectacular, yeah? Or have I just become a bit too obsessed with the Hunger Games...? So off I go... Where am I going? first up the Galapagos Islands, then the Lares trek up to Machu Picchu, followed by L.A and then a very special cruise around the Caribbean..... What am I searching for..? Well.. I LOVE Manta Rays so they are top of the list as well as Sting Rays, Sharks, the end of the Inca Trail Trek and a few other things ;-) 

Watch this space.... 

See ya x x 

PS: Happy New Year x

Guest blogger Cameron tells his story - How I Learned to Be a Cancer Caregiver

Please welcome Cameron, my guest blogger, who has been in touch as he'd like to share his amazing story through my blog......

My wife Heather was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma on November 21, 2005. Though I was unprepared to be a caregiver, I was willing and determined to take the challenge for my wife and daughter. Approximately three months prior to the diagnosis, our daughter, Lily, was born. We had been excitedly looking forward to celebrating her first holiday together as a family. Instead, our lives turned to utter chaos as we began a long and difficult battle with cancer.

Upon hearing the diagnosis, Heather was in shock. The doctor laid out several options available for treatment.  There were two hospitals nearby that could treat Heather, but neither of them had a well-developed program for this rare cancer. So, I chose a Boston mesothelioma specialist, Dr. David Sugarbaker.  Heather was too shocked and paralyzed by fear to make a decision, but I knew that if she were to have any chance of beating mesothelioma, she would need the best care available.

We had to learn new ways to live our lives over the following months. My wife had to stop working after the diagnosis, and I could only work part-time in order to be there for my family. I used my time away from work to take care of my daughter, to arrange my wife’s doctor’s appointments, and to arrange travel to Boston for treatments and doctor’s visits. I was overwhelmed on many days.

I did my best to always stay positive, but sometimes I could only picture the worst. I often thought that we would end up broke and homeless fighting the disease.  I often wondered how I could ever get by if I lost my wife, and was left alone to raise Lily by myself. Many days, I would lie in my kitchen floor and cry because I felt helpless. Despite my feelings, I knew I had to remain strong. I never let Heather see me in these weak moments.  I knew I had to be her rock, and that the last thing she needed was to see how scared I truly was.

Help came to us when we truly needed it. We received comforting words and even financial assistance from friends, family, and complete strangers. The job of caregiver is stressful enough, there is no reason you should try to do it alone.  My strongest advice to anyone in a similar situation is to be brave enough to ask for help.  There is no room for pride in a battle with cancer. You should use all the resources provided to you no matter how big or small to help you remain sane and strong in this fight.

After mesothelioma surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy, it took years for our lives to return to normal, but Heather beat the odds and is cancer-free today. During my wife’s cancer battle, I learned to cope with stress, and I learned time management skills. More importantly, I learned the strength that each person has inside them.  Two years after Heather’s diagnosis, I returned to school while working full time, to pursue my dream of earning my college degree. When I graduated, I was chosen to be the graduation speaker of the class. In my speech, I spoke of hope and my wife’s experience.  I talked about how, just a few years earlier, I never could have pictured myself up on that stage.  I told my fellow graduates about the lessons my wife had taught me, that within each of us is the strength to accomplish incredible, unimaginable things, as long as we never give up, and always keep fighting.

 

D-Day and the Jigsaw Puzzle

Celebrating D-Day

On the 16th of December it was the year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I like to call this D-Day. It will be a very important day for the rest of my life and one not to be forgotten. It was a crazy year, a bit like a roller coaster, only one where you don't know what to expect or when you will be getting off. I had a little celebration as it could not go unnoticed. My friends jazzed up the pub and it felt a bit like my birthday. It was a brilliant night with a bit of gangnam style dancing and a little speech by me on the microphone at the end of the night to say a big thanks to everyone who has got me through the last year.

A few days later it was our work Christmas party which happened on D-Day last year. I found out just before we were about to give out the secret Santa presents and I had to leave to go up to the hospital to get the results of my biopsy. This year I had a super day and really made up for last year.
 
I've been gradually putting the pieces of my life back together over the last few months, a bit like a jigsaw puzzle. It felt like someone smashed up the puzzle when I was diagnosed and all the pieces went everywhere. It’s been a gradual process but great to get them back together. My flat has gone from a place to be ill to a place to live again. I'm back to work part time. It's so lovely to see everyone and I'm so lucky that I'm well enough to go back. It's also a very surreal experience as, a bit like when you've been on holiday and you go back, you feel like you've never been away. I was sorting through my emails and looked at a few I sent the day before I was diagnosed. It was so strange to see the words I wrote when I had a feeling something was wrong but no idea of the magnitude of what I was about to go through. As important as it is to get my life back it is equally important not to forget everything.
 
It's therefore been a very reflective time recently; I've been looking back a lot and remembering all that I've been through. Luckily I have a tendency to write everything down, not only in my blogs and columns but right down to how I felt every day after each chemo and what I ate when I came out of hospital. This has been very useful to look back on and not forget every detail; and also as a reminder of how lucky I am now that it’s all over. So much has happened from surgery to chemo to more major surgery to the radiotherapy. It's like I've learnt a whole new language and know more than I would have ever wished to know about breast cancer. But now that I do have that knowledge I think it's important to help other people and raise awareness if I can. I'm meeting up with a charity in London in January called "Coppafeel" and I'm hoping to be able to do some voluntary work for them on my weekends. They work with young women raising awareness about breast cancer and checking for lumps.

My hair is now coming back with a vengeance; it’s almost out of control now. I’m not sure whether to go for it and grow it or keep it short for a while. The short style goes with the new me as I do feel like a different person now, with my battle scars. I found out recently that the cancer journey is not over for my family. I was at the hospital with my Grandad when they confirmed that he has prostate cancer. Luckily this is easy to control and has a non invasive treatment. My Grandad is a complete legend; he's 90 and doesn't hear very well. The Doctor said to him "has someone spoken to you about your prostate today?” Gramps replied "no, it's not my birthday today", at which point I thought it best to take over the discussions. Gramps was a Group Captain in the RAF and during the Second World War was so accomplished a pilot that they wouldn't let him go into battle so he was sent to Scotland to train soldiers how to fly planes. He has had an amazing life and still has a bright spark, that night we found out he said "well you've had it and now I've got it!”

So life will continue to slowly return to 'normal', which is great but also very strange. I feel like if I can get through this last year I can get through anything, what ever it is that life throws at me next, we shall see.

The Radiotherapy Roundabout

 
Radiotherapy is a bit like a roundabout. Well it's not really. It just feels a bit like it as you do the same thing every day and you could be just going round and round and round and round a roundabout.
 
It started with a planning session where I had a CT scan so that they could determine and plan the exact dose of radiation required and how it would be delivered. They also took a mould of my boob. This felt very funny, being covered in wax and plaster of Paris. My newly reconstructed boob was wondering what an earth was going on. This created a wax covering that would be used during treatment to ensure the skin got the maximum dose of radiation.
 
I was very lucky as I got to stay down in Exeter during my radiotherapy treatment. I stayed with my wonderful friends Helen and Tom and their beautiful daughter Mila, who is soon to be my God daughter. So instead of a journey backwards and forwards every day, which most people have to make, I was very lucky to get to hang out with them in between treatment in their lovely house. We might have also done a bit of shopping as well... Well it would of been rude not to wouldn't it? Millions of thanks to them for a lovely time during my baking.
 
I had to go in for treatment 15 times all together. Every day, Monday to Friday, for three weeks. The hospital do an amazing job and are extremely lovely and efficient with all the hundreds of patients they see each day. Each day i went in and started by getting dressed in a special gown for breast cancer patients, with poppers down the front and shoulders for ease of access. Then when it was my turn i had to lie on the special bed under the giant photocopier (as I like to call it) and the team line me up in the dark with the lasers so the dose is given to exact precision. It feels like you are in some sort of sci-fi movie. I had to keep very still in a certain position whilst the radiation is given from three different angles. It's a very surreal experience really, about 10 minutes later you're all done and back in the real world thinking, did that really happen? Then in you go again the next day... Until you're all done and finally get off the roundabout.
 
My skin reacted after the first couple of days. But then I don't react well to the sun and get prickly heat so it's no surprise really. Luckily it didn't get to much worse and it now looks like one boob has been on holiday for two weeks without the other one, bit tight really, the other one is feeling left out.
 
Next step is back to work and back to life. I feel very different to how I did a year ago. I also look very different, with my battle scars. I feel like a new person who has been through a lot but who has also learned a lot. I'm extremely lucky that I'm able to return to the real world and also extremely cautious as to how I will cope. We shall see.

No longer a caterpillar - The journey back to life

I found it a very weird time after I got the all clear. It was so amazing and such great news but I didn't feel great at all. In fact I felt awful. I had just got home from hospital after the op and I couldn't move very much and was very sore. I couldn't do anything for myself and I had to deal with the after effects from a 7 hour general anesthetic. I also think that all the feelings that I had blocked out of fear and worry over the last few months came flooding in as if I was finally allowing myself to feel them. I was finally processing everything now that I knew things would be ok. It was very strange.
 
I also had a few problems after the op as i had a seroma which is a common problem where fluid builds up around the wound. This included ending up in A&E where the wound bust open and loads of fluid came out. I didn't enjoy that very much. But my surgeon, Mr Drabble has done an amazing job. He has worked his magic and it looks fab, I'm so pleased with the results and lucky to have been able to have the op.
 
But then things started to get better, the wound finally started to heal properly. I could move around and do a bit more. And my hair started to come back with a vengeance. For months I had felt like how a caterpillar must feel, squirming around all bald and squidgy, desperate to be a butterfly. I finally started to feel like myself again. My eyelashes and eyebrows started to come back and I managed to lose some of the weight I had gained during chemo. I felt like I was coming back to life. What a magical feeling.
 
Some people say you really find out who your friends are when you get cancer and that you can get really let down. I have found quite the opposite. All my family and friends have really pulled it out the bag during the last nine months. They've been there every step of the way and pulled me through the dark times and laughed with me through the good. They've sent me messages constantly and driven round and sat with me when I've needed a cry during chemo. They've bought me presents to cheer me up and given me hugs when I needed them. I feel incredibly lucky to have them all.
 
So the journey back to life continues. It's a very strange feeling. A mixture of joy and of feeling very lost whilst trying to make sense of all that I have been through. Luckily I was well enough to enjoy one of my best friend’s weddings. Congratulations to Katie and Andrew, the new Mr and Mrs Cotton on what was an awesome day filled with love, laughter and inappropriate jokes; all my best things.
 
The next step is radiotherapy, which I'm a week into now.... I wonder what embarrassing things I will end up doing during that? We shall see.

C Ya Later Cancer - Being Completely Blindsided and a Busy Few Weeks



The Big C Festival



 I sat nervously waiting for my breast care nurse as they'd just had a meeting with the specialists about what they had removed during the operation. Karen came in and reported that they'd removed 16 lymph nodes and all the breast tissue and couldn't find any trace of cancer. The chemo has kicked its arse! I was therefore effectively cancer free! I hadn't cried tears of joy for a while, but there were many. I was in shock and completely blind sided. I hadn't expected such good news. Surely they would find something? Surely there would be more bad news? But no. It was amazing news and I just couldn't believe it. I actually couldn't. Even writing it down doesn't seem real as it’s the best news possible and it just doesn't seem true. But it is! All those months of grueling chemo and days feeling like crap have been worthwhile. Result.
 
It's also been a busy few weeks. I went back to work part time for a while. It was great to see everyone and feel like a functioning human again. Then Race for life took place which was an awe inspiring day. Standing there during the warm up surrounded by my team of zebra print clad family and friends I was overwhelmed by emotion. Seeing my name and the names of other loved ones fighting cancer on their backs it really hit me the effect of this terrible disease. I shed a little tear but felt so surrounded by love and so lucky to have such amazing people in my life to share this special day and get me through the last six months. We managed the walk in an hour and ten minutes and so far my team has raised £3295 for Cancer Research UK. Big thanks to Cavie at the Kings Arms in Georgeham who hosted our post race barbeque/party and donated £200 to our cause. I'm so stoked to think that our efforts will go towards research into fighting the Big C.
 
The Big C festival was another incredible day. The festival started to evolve a few months ago when I decided I wanted to organise a fundraiser and knew that Blakey was very kindly up for shaving his beautiful mane. Christian, Katie, Soph and I then met up about 6 weeks before and decided to go for it. We got on the case organising everything and Blakey set up the adventure race.
 
It rained all week leading up to the event. Not just a bit of rain either but proper, taking the piss rain. It was relentless. I had visions of a crammed pub and very soggy bouncy castle. But on the day someone was definitely shining down on us as it turned out to be the sunniest day we'd had in ages. The adventure race in the morning was great, even a few fancy dress costumes made an appearance in the blistering heat! The winning team did the cycle, swim and run course in 1 hour and 40 mins and consisted of the power houses Andrew Cotton, Ian Blake and Rob Sandbach; they won a month of boot camp sessions with Blakey's awesome Bay Fitness club, nice one! They were very closely followed, 18 seconds later.. By Ken Kerslake, Dan Rudman and Charlie Smith. Third place went to Sean Creely, Mat Turner (my lovely big bro!) and Mike Symonds who rocked up just over ten minutes later in awesome fancy dress! Massive well done to everyone who completed the course; an amazing achievement for a great cause.
 
The rest of the day continued to be brilliant. The garden was so packed at one point that people had to leave. The sun shone, great music played. The auction went better than I could of imagined raising £600 and I got slightly to into using the mic.. You couldn't get me off it! Blakey's hair had to be plaited before it could be shaved so that we could donate the hair to a children's cancer charity. We then charged a pound to cut each plait; this proved very popular and raised even more money. Charlotte Shirley did an awesome job of the actual shave and Blakey looks very handsome with a shaved head! The head shave itself raised around £1500, all I can say is wow.
 
The total raised is still rising but was at £4975 at the last count. All for the chemo unit appeal, a great amount for a charity very close to my heart and many others who attended. Massive thanks to all those involved (see below!) especially Christian, Blakey, Katie, Soph, Mum, Dad, Mat, Em, Bex, Chloe, Lisa, Lou, Kelz and Sunny. Special mention also to Andy at the White Lion for being so generous with his donation and hosting the event.
 
The whirl wind of charity fund raising was a welcome distraction and before I knew it I was ready to 'check in' to hospital. I'd been so busy I hadn't really thought about the reality of the op; probably best really. I used a bit of Jack Bauer to distract me the night before and then before I knew it, it was time to go under. I quite enjoyed being wheeled round the hospital to the theatre; I like to pretend its some sort of ride. After a little chat and confirmation that, yes, that is who I am on my arm band, then C ya! Waking up was not quite so much fun. I had to be covered by a bear hugger; which is a bit like a lilo being filled with hot air. This kept me very hot for the first 2 days and promoted the healing process. Luckily I was on a morphine drip as this kept me going through this phase. It wasn't the best 48 hours I've ever had, but it wasn't my worst either. Normal hemoglobin levels are supposed to be around 14 but mine dropped down to 6 as I'd lost so much blood through the op and in the drains. So I had to have a blood transfusion. This involved 2 bags of blood being pumped into me. I felt like I was in a Twilight movie. I wanted to say; sorry I'm a vampire I can't be around all this blood... But that's just how my strange little mind works.

I only vaguely remember Mum and Dad visiting on the evening of the op. I was completely out of it. Although I did manage to give Dad a list of instructions of who to let know what etc. Even in that state I can't help but organise things, which is a bit of a worry. I gradually improved as the days went on. First I was able to use my hands as the various drips came out. Then the drains were removed and I could walk around freely without carrying a little bag of blood drains. Don't get me wrong it's all very essential, but it's not a good look. I ended up staying in hospital slightly longer than expected as I developed an infection and my temp kept spiking at 38. A very small blip considering. Thanks so much to everyone who visited and for all the lovely cards, presents and flowers. Also huge thanks to the Doctors and Nurses on King George V ward (especially Rosie and Sandra). They did a brilliant job with my care; they are lovely and work so incredibly hard.
 
So now I'm home recovering! Getting stronger day by day and feeling incredibly lucky to be living above Mum and Dad and being looked after by them. Thanks Mum and Dad you are amazing. Right, well that's the longest blog I've ever written! I'll shut up now and concentrate on my recovery, C ya.

Ouch

The Big C festival - Special thanks to thanks to the amazing musicians - Melv, Christian, Sam Mayo, Sam Dowden, the White Lion Choir, Katie, Soph, Amy, Si, Jay, The Rockets and Pete's Gone Straight Edge!
And the local businesses who kindly donated to the auction and raffle: Get Wet Surf School, Ross, Bay Spas, Bay Joinery, Bay Fitness, Tiki, Kittiwell House, Devon Brewing Co, Hands On, Blue Groove, Kendra Pilates, Riverside, Aloe Vera Direct, Bright and Breezy Cleaning, Andrew Cotton Inc, Sirena Silver, the White Lion, Kenny Wells, Jon the Potter, Kittiwakes, The Rock Inn, Surfing Croyde Bay, The Corner Bistro, Second Skin, Gulfstream, Surfed Out.

The Bear Hugger

 

The Big C Festival, Lead Limbs and the Really Big Ouch

It’s been a few weeks since my last chemo now. It’s very frustrating as my body just doesn’t work like it used to. I suppose that’s not surprising given the dose of toxins it has been given and the lack of activity that it has been doing. But it’s very annoying, my limbs feel like lead. They just don’t do what I want them to do. I walked around baggy point the other morning and it felt like I had a lead weight round my ankles. I get very tired and have been in bed by about 8pm most nights. It’s a weird feeling as I feel like I should be getting much better quicker but I guess I just need to be patient. It’s hard though!!

So I’ve got my operation soon. They are going to take away all the left breast tissue and most of the lymph nodes and hopefully any trace of the naughty cancer. The analysis of this will show how effective the chemo has been which is what I’m interested in. I want to make sure the four months of treatment have been worth while. I am going to have a mastectomy followed by an immediate reconstruction. This means that they are going to use the Lat Dorsi muscle from my back, bring it round under my arm, maintaining the blood supply and build a new boob. How amazing is that? I am going to wake up with a new boob. It’s going to be a pretty big ouch but it will be worth it. The op takes about 7 hours and I’ll be in hospital for a week afterwards under close observation to ensure that the back tissue is happy in its new home in the boob. The first 48 hours are crucial and I will have a warm device hugging me called a bear hugger to ensure the tissue is warm and cosy, sounds nice! I’ll be on morphine by then so I’m sure I won’t be too bothered!! 

As those of you who know me will know, I have a slight problem with my zebra print obsession. It’s relentless. There’s zebra print everywhere with me. My phone, my wallet, my headscarves, leggings, hats etc etc. So it therefore seemed obvious that my race for life team kit was zebra print. I’m so excited about taking part. I think it is going to be very emotional. What an amazing event for such a fantastic cause. There are now 30 of us in my team consisting of my wonderful family and friends. If you are taking part and see any zebra print on the day that will be us!!

Blakey's lovely mane

Another fantastic cause is the Chemotherapy appeal for a new unit up at North Devon District hospital. The unit does such amazing work. I have been so lucky to be treated by the brilliant nurses up at the hospital; they have been wonderful throughout my chemo treatment. They do amazingly but the accommodation they are currently in is small and they really need the new unit. My friends and I are organizing a charity fund raising day on Sunday 15^th July (check out Christian's fab poster above!) in order to help raise the 2.2 million that is needed for the unit. My awesome friend Andrew Blake is going to shave his head and has already raised over £500 in sponsorship. We hope to be able to donate his hair to a charity that provides wigs for cancer patients. If you would like to sponsor him you can do so here: https://www.justgiving.com/thebigcfundraiser. In the morning Andrew is arranging an adventure race that involves teams of three cycling, swimming and running a course that covers Braunton, Woolacombe and Croyde. Andrew runs Bay Fitness and you can contact him on 07583 330239 to find out further details and to take part, it costs £10 per person. We are then holding the Big C Festival at the White Lion in Braunton from 12noon until late that will involve kids’ activities, BBQ, live acoustic music by day, local bands by night and a charity raffle/auction. It costs £5 on entry and all proceeds from the day go to the Chemo appeal. My amazing best friends Sophie and Katie Kerslake will be singing at the Big C, for a taster of their music they are playing at Lilicos on Thursday 5^th July from 9pm. Thanks so much to everyone for their help in organising the festival, especially you Christian!

You can sponsor my team at Race for Life on the following link http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/team-chitch, thanks so much to everyone who has already been so generous.

You can also follow me on twitter @chitchelmaryt.

The Last Dementor Attack




The last chemo goes in....

 

I can’t tell you how good it felt to do what will hopefully be my last chemo. Well I can. It was amazing. To think that it was the last one was a really great feeling. It was still pretty rubbish but as each day went on knowing it was the last time kept me going.

Getting ready for chemo each time is a bit of a mission. It’s like a whirl wind of sorting and organising and making sure everything is in order for a spell of incapacitation. I met an amazing lady called Jo the other day who had also been through chemo. We were discussing how it made you feel and agreed that a great way to describe it is like being attacked by a dementor out of Harry Potter. You know the ones? They suck out a part of your soul. Sounds severe, but it describes really well the feeling of being zapped, not just physically but mentally. So getting ready for a dementor attack for the last time was a joy. Knowing that all the pills that are needed would be taken for the last time and that the effects would be felt for hopefully the last time was amazing. There have been some very dark times but I feel stronger for being able to get through them.  I will miss Jack Bauer though. Big thanks to Caz and Soph for being my hospital angels for the last dose. 

In a very weird way I will miss chemo (no I haven’t finally lost it). Being in the chemo three weekly cycle gave me a strange sense of security and safety. I knew during this time that the chemo drugs (or chemo warriors as I like to call them) were attacking the cancer. I knew that my warriors were fighting it and it gave me a certain peace of mind. I am lucky that I am able to have herceptin treatment that will continue for another ten months. So the herceptin warriors will be continuing the fight on my behalf which is great news.



A bit of 'normality'



I am going back to work soon on a part time basis for a while before my operation. I feel it’s important to try and regain some semblance of normality back in my life. The last few months have been crazy and a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings, both physical and mental. As I mentioned before I felt kind of safe in the chemo cycle and going back to normal life is a scary prospect. How will I ever feel ‘normal’ again? How will I ever look at life in the same way again? I don’t think I will, or could. I was never very normal anyway, which may make the transition a little easier….

My hair is fighting back!

My hair has started growing back! Which is great news, it’s fighting through and there is at least 3 millimeters now. I can’t really tell what colour it is as yet. There are blond bits and darker bits so it’s a waiting game to see what its going to turn out like. Also it might be curly! Chemo frazzles the hair follicles so it could come back with a chemo curl. How very exciting.

Always note that I am talking about side effects that have effected me during treatment and other patients may be very different, thanks x

You can sponsor my team at Race for Life on the following link http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/team-chitch, thanks so much to everyone who has already been so generous.

You can also follow me on twitter @chitchelmaryt.

Jack Bauer and my Sanity

Shake, rattle and roll

Dealing with the after effects of Chemo for me is a matter of not only managing physical side effects but also keeping hold of my sanity. Chemo number five meant a dose of chemo alongside herceptin on the same day. The after effects of this physically were slightly easier than the last one. Rather than a double decker bus it was more like a run in with a mini bus. Thankfully it was easier to cope with. Although on day four I got slightly over enthusiastic and nearly passed out during the washing up, must calm down! 

Chemo zaps my body in order to kill the cancer, but it also zaps my brain. 'Chemo brain' is a common term used amongst patients, you could blame all sorts on it (obviously I don’t!). I often forget what I'm about to say or what I was thinking about. Or send a text asking something I’ve asked twice before (sorry Soph!). In order to save me chemo kills my spirit for a while. I feel like someone has battered me flat and that I gradually re-fill as the days go by. Keeping hold of my sanity during this time is a major mission.

My secret chemo weapon is the TV series 24. 24 is an American series set in a world of anti terror plots and secret agents. The main character, Jack Bauer, mentally runs round L.A trying to beat the bad guys. I live in the 24 world for a few days and Jack Bauer keeps me sane (or insane, either way it works!). Although I have to be careful that it doesn’t take over too much as I go off to bed and check all the shadows for a secret agent. Especially as and all my wig heads look very suspicious in the moon light!! I went up to an ultra sound appointment at the hospital a few days after chemo once and was lying there imagining I was in an episode of 24 and that Jack was going to rush in at any moment and save me. Maybe I've taken it a bit far?? Ha, well maybe I have, but at least it keeps me sane and my brain going before my pre chemo spirit is restored. Big thanks to Tweed and Ruth for the 24 supplies!

When my brain comes back after chemo it's a magical feeling. It’s like I've been given my brain for the first time again. Mine tends to go into overdrive, thinking about what I need to do or organise, as I love to organise. It's an amazing feeling and one I cherish every time I pull through.

Always note that I am talking about side effects that have effected me during treatment and other patients may be very different, thanks x

You can sponsor my team at Race for Life on the following link http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/team-chitch; thanks so much to everyone who has already been so generous, we have raised an amazing £1370 already!

Being Hit by a Bus....

I suppose I should of realised that after spending two days in hospital being pumped full of toxic drugs that your not gonna come out feeling ship shape. I spent Thursday getting my new dose of chemo and Friday getting my new drug Herceptin. I've never been hit by a bus before but in the days that followed I certainly feel like I had been. I still do, but it feels like a slightly smaller bus now, not a double decker like at the weekend. It totally floored me and I could hardly move. But I guess that's the price you pay for the war that's raging inside and all energy is needed to help out the new lot of troops so none can be wasted on getting up off the sofa. Big thanks to my hospital angels Lou and Caz for getting me through those two days and taking on the joyous job of looking out for signs of an anaphylactic fit (which luckily didn't appear!).

I'm not gonna lie there have been dark times recently. Darks days where I feel pretty bloody low and dark nights where I can't sleep and worries and fears go round and round in my head. Everyday through treatment is a battle; alongside the war inside me is the mental battle to try and keep strong and positive. The blog has been really helpful as its one of the things I write when I wake up in the night and can’t sleep. I'm definitely not out for sympathy here but I think it's important to reflect both the ups and the downs of my cancer journey. It's much more than jazzy wigs and mohawks, although they certainly help. You can only stay positive most of the time, sometimes you just can't and I think that's ok as well.

I had an echocardiogram (ECG) the other day. It was mental. The herceptin that I've started taking can weaken the way your heart pumps. So they use an ultra sound to view all the areas of the heart and take measurements to ensure its all normal and can cope with the treatment. I was relieved to find out it looked pretty normal! Phew, I have something normal! Crazy to see and hear it pumping away with all the valves working like mad to ensure all your blood gets to where it's meant to be. And that it's happening all the time, every minute of our lives, very clever stuff. So they take all the measurements and then check again in three months time to ensure nothing has happened to hinder the hearts ability to pump.

I went back into work for the first time in four months the other day. It was very emotional as I hadn't been there since the day I was diagnosed, but it was amazing to see everyone. They held a 'wear a wig to work day' to raise money for the new chemotherapy unit at the hospital. They raised about £400, how cool is that. They all looked so great!!! I was actually put to shame in my black bob as there were so many fab coloured ones (check out the picture!) My particular favourite was Arron's afro, it was amazing! They made such a great effort I was really touched. I've really missed everyone so it was lovely to see them and I hope that everything goes to plan with treatment and that I can go back in a few months once all this crazy shit is over.