Tuesday 29 May 2012

Jack Bauer and my Sanity

Shake, rattle and roll
Dealing with the after effects of Chemo for me is a matter of not only managing physical side effects but also keeping hold of my sanity. Chemo number five meant a dose of chemo alongside herceptin on the same day. The after effects of this physically were slightly easier than the last one. Rather than a double decker bus it was more like a run in with a mini bus. Thankfully it was easier to cope with. Although on day four I got slightly over enthusiastic and nearly passed out during the washing up, must calm down! 

Chemo zaps my body in order to kill the cancer, but it also zaps my brain. 'Chemo brain' is a common term used amongst patients, you could blame all sorts on it (obviously I don’t!). I often forget what I'm about to say or what I was thinking about. Or send a text asking something I’ve asked twice before (sorry Soph!). In order to save me chemo kills my spirit for a while. I feel like someone has battered me flat and that I gradually re-fill as the days go by. Keeping hold of my sanity during this time is a major mission.

My secret chemo weapon is the TV series 24. 24 is an American series set in a world of anti terror plots and secret agents. The main character, Jack Bauer, mentally runs round L.A trying to beat the bad guys. I live in the 24 world for a few days and Jack Bauer keeps me sane (or insane, either way it works!). Although I have to be careful that it doesn’t take over too much as I go off to bed and check all the shadows for a secret agent. Especially as and all my wig heads look very suspicious in the moon light!! I went up to an ultra sound appointment at the hospital a few days after chemo once and was lying there imagining I was in an episode of 24 and that Jack was going to rush in at any moment and save me. Maybe I've taken it a bit far?? Ha, well maybe I have, but at least it keeps me sane and my brain going before my pre chemo spirit is restored. Big thanks to Tweed and Ruth for the 24 supplies!

When my brain comes back after chemo it's a magical feeling. It’s like I've been given my brain for the first time again. Mine tends to go into overdrive, thinking about what I need to do or organise, as I love to organise. It's an amazing feeling and one I cherish every time I pull through.

Always note that I am talking about side effects that have effected me during treatment and other patients may be very different, thanks x

You can sponsor my team at Race for Life on the following link http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/team-chitch; thanks so much to everyone who has already been so generous, we have raised an amazing £1370 already!