I found it a very weird time after I got the all clear. It was so amazing and such great news but I didn't feel great at all. In fact I felt awful. I had just got home from hospital after the op and I couldn't move very much and was very sore. I couldn't do anything for myself and I had to deal with the after effects from a 7 hour general anesthetic. I also think that all the feelings that I had blocked out of fear and worry over the last few months came flooding in as if I was finally allowing myself to feel them. I was finally processing everything now that I knew things would be ok. It was very strange.
I also had a few problems after the op as i had a seroma which is a common problem where fluid builds up around the wound. This included ending up in A&E where the wound bust open and loads of fluid came out. I didn't enjoy that very much. But my surgeon, Mr Drabble has done an amazing job. He has worked his magic and it looks fab, I'm so pleased with the results and lucky to have been able to have the op.
But then things started to get better, the wound finally started to heal properly. I could move around and do a bit more. And my hair started to come back with a vengeance. For months I had felt like how a caterpillar must feel, squirming around all bald and squidgy, desperate to be a butterfly. I finally started to feel like myself again. My eyelashes and eyebrows started to come back and I managed to lose some of the weight I had gained during chemo. I felt like I was coming back to life. What a magical feeling.
Some people say you really find out who your friends are when you get cancer and that you can get really let down. I have found quite the opposite. All my family and friends have really pulled it out the bag during the last nine months. They've been there every step of the way and pulled me through the dark times and laughed with me through the good. They've sent me messages constantly and driven round and sat with me when I've needed a cry during chemo. They've bought me presents to cheer me up and given me hugs when I needed them. I feel incredibly lucky to have them all.
So the journey back to life continues. It's a very strange feeling. A mixture of joy and of feeling very lost whilst trying to make sense of all that I have been through. Luckily I was well enough to enjoy one of my best friend’s weddings. Congratulations to Katie and Andrew, the new Mr and Mrs Cotton on what was an awesome day filled with love, laughter and inappropriate jokes; all my best things.
The next step is radiotherapy, which I'm a week into now.... I wonder what embarrassing things I will end up doing during that? We shall see.
I also had a few problems after the op as i had a seroma which is a common problem where fluid builds up around the wound. This included ending up in A&E where the wound bust open and loads of fluid came out. I didn't enjoy that very much. But my surgeon, Mr Drabble has done an amazing job. He has worked his magic and it looks fab, I'm so pleased with the results and lucky to have been able to have the op.
But then things started to get better, the wound finally started to heal properly. I could move around and do a bit more. And my hair started to come back with a vengeance. For months I had felt like how a caterpillar must feel, squirming around all bald and squidgy, desperate to be a butterfly. I finally started to feel like myself again. My eyelashes and eyebrows started to come back and I managed to lose some of the weight I had gained during chemo. I felt like I was coming back to life. What a magical feeling.
Some people say you really find out who your friends are when you get cancer and that you can get really let down. I have found quite the opposite. All my family and friends have really pulled it out the bag during the last nine months. They've been there every step of the way and pulled me through the dark times and laughed with me through the good. They've sent me messages constantly and driven round and sat with me when I've needed a cry during chemo. They've bought me presents to cheer me up and given me hugs when I needed them. I feel incredibly lucky to have them all.
So the journey back to life continues. It's a very strange feeling. A mixture of joy and of feeling very lost whilst trying to make sense of all that I have been through. Luckily I was well enough to enjoy one of my best friend’s weddings. Congratulations to Katie and Andrew, the new Mr and Mrs Cotton on what was an awesome day filled with love, laughter and inappropriate jokes; all my best things.
The next step is radiotherapy, which I'm a week into now.... I wonder what embarrassing things I will end up doing during that? We shall see.
