Living the Dream and Puking my Guts up

The wildlife here is incredible, it's like being in an open zoo, it's nuts. We visited El Garrapatero beach on Saturday which is about half an hour from Puerto Ayora where I'm staying. There were about four pelicans hanging out whilst we went swimming. Dive bombing for fish, not remotely bothered by us. Then we realised that there was a flamingo reserve just behind the beach where wild flamingos were hanging out, doing flamingo stuff. On the way back in the taxi we stopped to see my first giant tortoise, she was a small one (still quite big!) and very cute.

Remember the arrow? Well it certainly was true that, despite the set backs, I was about to be propelled into something very spectacular. I went diving with Manta Rays!!! YEP!!! And not just one but loads!!! Oh yeah!!!!

I was pretty nervous before the dive and anxious about remembering everything. I hadn't been for 2 years and that was before my treatment so my body was very different then. But once down there it all fell into place and I remembered how much I loved being down in the under water world. Just like above the water the wildlife is awesome. Hundreds of fish, 2 sea lions whizzed by, 2 huge turtles, oh and a sting ray! Oh yes, a sting ray came and hung out right underneath me for a while! Cool as. 

It was quite early on in the dive when I looked above me and there were 30 or 40 Manta Rays swimming over me. It was awesome. At first I thought I'd imagined it, surely I wasn't going to see that many Mantas on my first dive!!!?? But yep, there they were. Nuts! It's like they knew I was coming!!! Three more swam close by, then later in the dive the huge school swam past us again! Dreams really do come true people!!! (Photos to follow..)

The second dive wasn't quite so successful. In fact it didn't happen at all. It was really rough at the next site and I started to get really sea sick. I got all my equipment on and we were about to go off the boat backwards when I started puking my guts up. Shit bags. I was totally gutted. My group didn't see any sharks luckily, otherwise I would of been beyond sore. Determined not to let this stop me diving I have another dive 2 dives booked in on Thurs. Fingers crossed for no more puking. 

But what an incredible day!!!!! 

Dream list so far....

Manta Rays = TICK

Sting Ray = TICK

Wahooooooo xxx 

57 hours later... Hello paradise

So I was nearly at the end of my journey.. Only one more flight to go. It was about 2am and I was hanging out at Quitio airport in Ecuador which is brand new and very jazzy. I think I was going a bit nuts by this point, after hardly any sleep. I went to check the flight status and it was only showing as  bloody cancelled!! Nearing hysteria I had a laugh to myself and then thought, shit, what do I do now!!?? When the airline counter finally opened the guy didn't seem remotely concerned and just said to check in anyway as there was another flight I can get... Ok so that's a big relief, I don't know how much longer I could hang out in airports before I totally lose the plot...

The journey:

4 hours Braunton to Heathrow

10 hours Heathrow to Miami

4 hours wait in Miami

5 hours Miami to Lima

16 hour wait in Lima (total loon by this point)

2 hours Lima to Quito

7 hour wait in Quito

3 hours Quito to Galápagos 

PHEW!!!! What a mission.

I met a lovely guy at Quito airport who used to be a diving instructor. He had a transfer sorted once we got to the Galápagos from the airport in Isla Baltra over to Santa Cruz so I jumped in and finally made it to paradise!!! 

So here I am. My hotel is lovely and a total bargain, thanks to Marianella, Emily's lovely friend who sorted it out for me. And you can see Sea Lions and Iguanas hanging out on the rocks from the hotel balcony, bonus! 

After some much needed sleep last night I ventured out to find food this morning.. A girl on the next table had a couple of snorkels so who better to ask where to go snorkelling.?? She turned out to be great and invited me on a boat trip to a beach over the other side of the island this afternoon.. So off I go later to see if I can find any rays..

Tomorrow is shark day. My first dive is at a site good for hammerheads. So fingers crossed they show up for me!

Laters xxxxx 

2 planes and 24 hours...

One of the main worries about going travelling on your own is will you meet anyone to talk to? Or will you be talking to yourself the whole time...? I decided to buy myself a glass of champagne at the airport (I'm not posh, they had run out of prosecco...) when I noticed the guy next to me was drinking beer and coffee, a sure fire conversation starter.. It turned out he had just spend New Years in Prague and was trying to stay awake for his flight back to Canada. We nearly missed both our flights, not realising there was a train to the  gate.. Oops! Then I got on the plane and sat next to a lady that had a pink zebra print head cushion.. Hello! That's another sure fire winner in my book. Opening line..'oh, I'm obsessed with zebra print!' She was lovely and like me also had one brother and one nephew and she lived in Miami and gave me some fab advice on where to go and how to get around. So not much talking to myself as yet... I arrived in Lima at 5am this morning and I don't check in for my next flight till 7.30pm so I'm working my way round the restaurants and doing my best hanging out whilst keeping a very close eye on my bags. Had my first embarrassing 'Spanish' conversation. I thought the lady was asking where I was leaving Lima for... But she actually just wanted my table!! Best get the phrase book back out!!! Only 24 hours and 2 more flights to go!! Yes!! 

Grabbing life by the balls

So.... Here I am at Heathrow Airport soon to board a flight to Peru. Exactly 2 years and 16 days ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. 7 months after that I was given the all clear. I am very lucky. Not a day goes by that I don't think about those who haven't been as lucky. Inspired and in awe of their bravery I decided I absolutely must grab life firmly by the balls and live out my dreams (well, most of them anyway...!). So I'm about to embark on a six week adventure on my own to do exactly that. And I thought I might as well blog my face off on the way and keep you updated, seeing as you went through the whole cancer journey with me, this should be much more fun! There have been a few stumbling blocks on the way to this day... The initial indecision (cruise or research trip?? Or both!!??), the cancellation of my Manta Ray research trip (last minute), the logistics of the last minute change of plan and the travel insurance saga (loved the quote for £3,600 !! Actually laughed down the phone)... But I read an analogy on twitter (the font of all knowledge) the other day that I liked. I decided to think of the set backs as if they were an arrow.. They are dragging you back to propel you into something quite spectacular, yeah? Or have I just become a bit too obsessed with the Hunger Games...? So off I go... Where am I going? first up the Galapagos Islands, then the Lares trek up to Machu Picchu, followed by L.A and then a very special cruise around the Caribbean..... What am I searching for..? Well.. I LOVE Manta Rays so they are top of the list as well as Sting Rays, Sharks, the end of the Inca Trail Trek and a few other things ;-) 

Watch this space.... 

See ya x x 

PS: Happy New Year x

Guest blogger Cameron tells his story - How I Learned to Be a Cancer Caregiver

Please welcome Cameron, my guest blogger, who has been in touch as he'd like to share his amazing story through my blog......

My wife Heather was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma on November 21, 2005. Though I was unprepared to be a caregiver, I was willing and determined to take the challenge for my wife and daughter. Approximately three months prior to the diagnosis, our daughter, Lily, was born. We had been excitedly looking forward to celebrating her first holiday together as a family. Instead, our lives turned to utter chaos as we began a long and difficult battle with cancer.

Upon hearing the diagnosis, Heather was in shock. The doctor laid out several options available for treatment.  There were two hospitals nearby that could treat Heather, but neither of them had a well-developed program for this rare cancer. So, I chose a Boston mesothelioma specialist, Dr. David Sugarbaker.  Heather was too shocked and paralyzed by fear to make a decision, but I knew that if she were to have any chance of beating mesothelioma, she would need the best care available.

We had to learn new ways to live our lives over the following months. My wife had to stop working after the diagnosis, and I could only work part-time in order to be there for my family. I used my time away from work to take care of my daughter, to arrange my wife’s doctor’s appointments, and to arrange travel to Boston for treatments and doctor’s visits. I was overwhelmed on many days.

I did my best to always stay positive, but sometimes I could only picture the worst. I often thought that we would end up broke and homeless fighting the disease.  I often wondered how I could ever get by if I lost my wife, and was left alone to raise Lily by myself. Many days, I would lie in my kitchen floor and cry because I felt helpless. Despite my feelings, I knew I had to remain strong. I never let Heather see me in these weak moments.  I knew I had to be her rock, and that the last thing she needed was to see how scared I truly was.

Help came to us when we truly needed it. We received comforting words and even financial assistance from friends, family, and complete strangers. The job of caregiver is stressful enough, there is no reason you should try to do it alone.  My strongest advice to anyone in a similar situation is to be brave enough to ask for help.  There is no room for pride in a battle with cancer. You should use all the resources provided to you no matter how big or small to help you remain sane and strong in this fight.

After mesothelioma surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy, it took years for our lives to return to normal, but Heather beat the odds and is cancer-free today. During my wife’s cancer battle, I learned to cope with stress, and I learned time management skills. More importantly, I learned the strength that each person has inside them.  Two years after Heather’s diagnosis, I returned to school while working full time, to pursue my dream of earning my college degree. When I graduated, I was chosen to be the graduation speaker of the class. In my speech, I spoke of hope and my wife’s experience.  I talked about how, just a few years earlier, I never could have pictured myself up on that stage.  I told my fellow graduates about the lessons my wife had taught me, that within each of us is the strength to accomplish incredible, unimaginable things, as long as we never give up, and always keep fighting.

 

D-Day and the Jigsaw Puzzle

Celebrating D-Day

On the 16th of December it was the year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I like to call this D-Day. It will be a very important day for the rest of my life and one not to be forgotten. It was a crazy year, a bit like a roller coaster, only one where you don't know what to expect or when you will be getting off. I had a little celebration as it could not go unnoticed. My friends jazzed up the pub and it felt a bit like my birthday. It was a brilliant night with a bit of gangnam style dancing and a little speech by me on the microphone at the end of the night to say a big thanks to everyone who has got me through the last year.

A few days later it was our work Christmas party which happened on D-Day last year. I found out just before we were about to give out the secret Santa presents and I had to leave to go up to the hospital to get the results of my biopsy. This year I had a super day and really made up for last year.
 
I've been gradually putting the pieces of my life back together over the last few months, a bit like a jigsaw puzzle. It felt like someone smashed up the puzzle when I was diagnosed and all the pieces went everywhere. It’s been a gradual process but great to get them back together. My flat has gone from a place to be ill to a place to live again. I'm back to work part time. It's so lovely to see everyone and I'm so lucky that I'm well enough to go back. It's also a very surreal experience as, a bit like when you've been on holiday and you go back, you feel like you've never been away. I was sorting through my emails and looked at a few I sent the day before I was diagnosed. It was so strange to see the words I wrote when I had a feeling something was wrong but no idea of the magnitude of what I was about to go through. As important as it is to get my life back it is equally important not to forget everything.
 
It's therefore been a very reflective time recently; I've been looking back a lot and remembering all that I've been through. Luckily I have a tendency to write everything down, not only in my blogs and columns but right down to how I felt every day after each chemo and what I ate when I came out of hospital. This has been very useful to look back on and not forget every detail; and also as a reminder of how lucky I am now that it’s all over. So much has happened from surgery to chemo to more major surgery to the radiotherapy. It's like I've learnt a whole new language and know more than I would have ever wished to know about breast cancer. But now that I do have that knowledge I think it's important to help other people and raise awareness if I can. I'm meeting up with a charity in London in January called "Coppafeel" and I'm hoping to be able to do some voluntary work for them on my weekends. They work with young women raising awareness about breast cancer and checking for lumps.

My hair is now coming back with a vengeance; it’s almost out of control now. I’m not sure whether to go for it and grow it or keep it short for a while. The short style goes with the new me as I do feel like a different person now, with my battle scars. I found out recently that the cancer journey is not over for my family. I was at the hospital with my Grandad when they confirmed that he has prostate cancer. Luckily this is easy to control and has a non invasive treatment. My Grandad is a complete legend; he's 90 and doesn't hear very well. The Doctor said to him "has someone spoken to you about your prostate today?” Gramps replied "no, it's not my birthday today", at which point I thought it best to take over the discussions. Gramps was a Group Captain in the RAF and during the Second World War was so accomplished a pilot that they wouldn't let him go into battle so he was sent to Scotland to train soldiers how to fly planes. He has had an amazing life and still has a bright spark, that night we found out he said "well you've had it and now I've got it!”

So life will continue to slowly return to 'normal', which is great but also very strange. I feel like if I can get through this last year I can get through anything, what ever it is that life throws at me next, we shall see.

The Radiotherapy Roundabout

 
Radiotherapy is a bit like a roundabout. Well it's not really. It just feels a bit like it as you do the same thing every day and you could be just going round and round and round and round a roundabout.
 
It started with a planning session where I had a CT scan so that they could determine and plan the exact dose of radiation required and how it would be delivered. They also took a mould of my boob. This felt very funny, being covered in wax and plaster of Paris. My newly reconstructed boob was wondering what an earth was going on. This created a wax covering that would be used during treatment to ensure the skin got the maximum dose of radiation.
 
I was very lucky as I got to stay down in Exeter during my radiotherapy treatment. I stayed with my wonderful friends Helen and Tom and their beautiful daughter Mila, who is soon to be my God daughter. So instead of a journey backwards and forwards every day, which most people have to make, I was very lucky to get to hang out with them in between treatment in their lovely house. We might have also done a bit of shopping as well... Well it would of been rude not to wouldn't it? Millions of thanks to them for a lovely time during my baking.
 
I had to go in for treatment 15 times all together. Every day, Monday to Friday, for three weeks. The hospital do an amazing job and are extremely lovely and efficient with all the hundreds of patients they see each day. Each day i went in and started by getting dressed in a special gown for breast cancer patients, with poppers down the front and shoulders for ease of access. Then when it was my turn i had to lie on the special bed under the giant photocopier (as I like to call it) and the team line me up in the dark with the lasers so the dose is given to exact precision. It feels like you are in some sort of sci-fi movie. I had to keep very still in a certain position whilst the radiation is given from three different angles. It's a very surreal experience really, about 10 minutes later you're all done and back in the real world thinking, did that really happen? Then in you go again the next day... Until you're all done and finally get off the roundabout.
 
My skin reacted after the first couple of days. But then I don't react well to the sun and get prickly heat so it's no surprise really. Luckily it didn't get to much worse and it now looks like one boob has been on holiday for two weeks without the other one, bit tight really, the other one is feeling left out.
 
Next step is back to work and back to life. I feel very different to how I did a year ago. I also look very different, with my battle scars. I feel like a new person who has been through a lot but who has also learned a lot. I'm extremely lucky that I'm able to return to the real world and also extremely cautious as to how I will cope. We shall see.