Whatever you do, don't walk under ladders....

I’m definitely becoming superstitious. Friday the 13^th is unlucky, don’t book anything significant on that day; it’s just not worth it.

I don’t watch much TV, but my TV broke the other day. My free view box just stopped working, a bit like my boob. There wasn’t any warning, it just packed it in. Luckily my cousin, Charlotte, who is amazing by the way, sent me the Sex and the City box set. I bloody love it. So on Friday morning I was watching it when I realised I was running late for the hospital appointment. It’s quite hard to get ready quickly when you have a gash that you don’t want to get wet; but I just about managed it and Mum and I headed up to hospital for the results of the op.

I had in my head what I thought was the worst case scenario. I like to have the worst case in my head so that if it is better I’m pleasantly surprised. I didn’t cater for it being worse than that. Three out of the five lymph nodes they removed were cancerous and the tumour was 11mm rather than the 7mm they originally thought. They confirmed it was an aggressive grade three type cancer. The clearance tissue they removed also contained pre-cancerous cells. They were therefore not happy that they had full clearance so they want to take the whole boob off. Oh shit. They confirmed that I would be starting chemo as soon as possible and following that would have a mastectomy. They can actually reconstruct it at the same time using a muscle from my back which is so amazing (I’m going to ask if they can take some tissue from my ass or thighs instead?? There’s plenty there!!). I have to have CT scans to check whether the cancer has spread. I also have to take tamoxifen for 5 years as a preventative measure which means I can’t have a baby during that time.

I felt like I’d been punched in the face to be honest.

I’m very lucky that I have amazing people in my life. We drank bubbles, we danced, we might have done a bit too much of both those things but it made it all seem better that day (again, you know who you are). I have also been given more gorgeous flowers, it's a bit like a florist in my flat, it's beautiful. My friend Shelley also painted me a painting, it's very special. Despite being in shock all these people, flowers a lovely gifts are helping greatly. 

Thanks to everyone who has been in touch, I've had so many emails and texts and it really is amazing.. I am gradually getting back to everyone, sorry this might take a while!

It’s Chloe’s hen weekend next weekend. One of the things I can definitely do is that. No, I won’t be giving away any details Chloe!! It’s a surprise!! But it’s kept me occupied, given me something to organise… I can’t bloody wait.

I’m clinging on desperately to my sense of humour – what do we think of the blue wig? Or the mullet (especially for you Gail)??

 

Right then, chin up, I'm off wig shopping.....