Radioactive nipple and the big ouch

Well hello 2012, you will be my biggest challenge yet (and I’ve had a few!).

New years eve was bloody brilliant – highlights include tutus (thanks Vikki!), body art, the bad taste party, blow up boxing and a new fangled game involving a marigold (created by the one and only Andy Bevan)….

Monday 2^nd January 2012

Reality hits home. Oh yes, I have to go to Exeter tomorrow, oh yes I have to have an operation on Wednesday, oh shit.

Pasta, pizza and chocolates help (again, must try harder to be a better human).

Tuesday 3^rd January

I have to go to Exeter today as the nuclear department is there (sounds ominous). So me, Mum and Dad set off in what can only be described as horrendous driving conditions. A lorry passed us and sent what felt like a tidal wave over the car, I tried not to shout. Well done Dad on the driving. We got there safely and very early so managed to get in early for my injection.

Now, I had totally misunderstood what was going on today – I thought they were checking the lymph nodes but they are just identifying where they are so that they can be removed during the op tomorrow. This involves injecting a radioactive dye. The injection is like a bee sting, just by your nipple = ouch. It wasn’t so bad, I think I was quite brave, wasn’t I Mum? Probably worse for Mum to watch! Then you have to wait for the dye to spread and therefore show where the lymph nodes are. This involved waiting in a coffee shop and rubbing my boob, Mum and I found this very amusing, as I’m sure the other customers did. It worked a treat though.

I had a scan under this big machine which had a huge plate that came right down by my face, I tried to keep really still. They then marked me up like a piece of meat, with crosses and numbers to show where the nodes were to be removed. I thought afterwards that surely they could have marked me up for some liposuction whilst they were there? I was now radioactive. I had a special band, how special am I??!

Wednesday 4^th January

The operation is today. They changed the time I was due to go in to 11am rather than 7.30am. I initially thought this would be good as I’d get a lie in, but no, it just gave me more time to think about it. Em, my lovely sister in law, came to see me for a cuddle before I left, this set me off, but I definitely needed a cuddle and a cry. The worst moment in the morning was when my nephew, Presley, came for a cuddle. He stood at my feet with his arms up demanding a hug. Because of the radioactive dye in me and my nuclear nipple I couldn’t pick him up. Now that was gutting.

I get this weird thing that when I get into hospital I’m OK. I seem to have these weird super powers that make me able to cope (maybe it was the nuclear power??). I just sat reading my magazines until it was time to go in. I waited about 3 hours. Because you don’t know what time you are due in, you don’t really get time to be nervous. They just suddenly come in and say your up, like an audition. I’ve never had a general anaesthetic before. You feel like you’re in ER with all these tubes being connected to you. I asked when and how I would be put out and they told me about the preparation drug; it makes you feel a bit tipsy apparently, did I know what that felt like? I said, yes, I’m very aware of that feeling!! And then whoosh, you’re out of it. I woke up crying, which is a bit embarrassing to admit. The lovely recovery nurse was amazing. Mum and Dad came up. I ate a terrible cheese sandwich, and then felt very, very sick. They pumped me full of anti-sickness drugs and after about 20 minutes I was OK. My bro arrived with some chocolates, he’s bloody great. We hung out for a bit. I felt pretty out of it. After they left I went into a groggy, drugged up sleep with my trusty cuddly penguin for company.

They took the drain out in the morning and the breast care nurse gave me a lovely heart shaped pillow to rest under my arm so that it wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. How thoughtful is that! I had to fill in a patient survey with one of the nurses. They asked me if I felt that my dignity had been protected during my stay. I nearly said, no, as I didn’t have any in the first place! But I managed to resist.

Dad took me home and the next few days were spent recovering, in a sea of beautiful flowers, lovely friends and the odd cheeky glass of wine. Thanks to all the girls for your company and keeping me entertained. Luckily I live in a flat above my Mum and Dad so they have been able to help me; they have been amazing so big thanks to them and all they are doing (including my hovering, which is a right bonus as I hate hovering!)..(I mean hoovering!! Spelling has never been my strong point!! Thanks to those of you who have pointed this out... ).

So, the next step is Friday the 13^th (unlucky for some but hopefully not for me!). This will be when I find out the results of the surgery and whether further surgery or scans are needed to see if the cancer has spread. I will also know for sure whether I will have to have chemo. Fingers and toes crossed then everyone for a lucky Friday!