The big head shave

The head shaving crew

The chemo-coma (as I like to call it) lasted for about a week following treatment. I felt very sick and groggy for the first couple of days. Then I slept for a whole day. Then I felt like I’d been beaten over the head for a couple of days. Then I started to feel human again. So, it wasn’t too bad really. Good to know the pattern and be prepared for the next one next week.

So the hair has got to go! It started to fall out, not in big clumps but lots of strands came out. It’s very weird, this hair that I’ve been growing for years just falling out. And it’s hard to get your head around as the chemo side effects have stopped but your hair still falls out, weird. Clever stuff that chemo. So I had the girls round and the wonderful Charlotte Shirley cut a few great comedy styles on the way to the big shave. Charlotte donated her fee to Cancer Research UK, what an amazing human and bloody amazing hair dresser to! The fringe was first, I was slightly disappointed that I hadn’t done this sooner, it was great! We did a little lamp shade style in memory of Gail’s fabulous hair style from school days! The blue Mohawk was my absolute favourite! I was more gutted to cut that off than the pob!! It was amazing! If only I could keep that for day to day wear! Now I’m going to be in search of a Mohawk wig! Note to self, stop buying wigs!! I have 6 now (mostly comedy!). Slightly over the top I know but why not make the most of trying out new styles and colours?!!

So now the hair has all gone! It’s very strange! But very exciting to start wearing my wig and scarf collection.. What to wear today….??

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who came and supported me last night, it was fun! Special thanks to Charlotte for her time and amazing skills. And to everyone for all the fabulous cards and gifts I have received, I’m very lucky to have you and I love you all!!

I got one of my head scarves from a lady in America who tailored them specifically for a member of her family with cancer, then started selling them world wide. Its zebra print, obviously and you may see me wearing it very soon! She sent me a card with the following on it; I really liked it so here we go:

‘What cancer cannot do.

Cancer is so limited…..

It cannot cripple love.

It cannot shatter hope.

It cannot destroy confidence.

It cannot kill friendship.

It cannot shut out memories.

It cannot silence courage.

It cannot quench the spirit’.

Author unknown.

Cool huh?

See you soon.. If you recognise me?!!!!!

FEC off Cancer

Chemo cringe face



 So the chemotherapy begins. I was pretty nervous going up for the first treatment as I didn’t know what to expect really. I had a little melt down just before it started, luckily Bex was there to hold my hand and I was OK after that. The lovely nurse got my cannula in first time so that is the main hurdle. You have a drip put in and the drugs are syringed gradually into the drip, just in case there is any reaction then the process can be slowed down. There’s anti-sickness first then steroids, the steroids make you feel like you actually have ants in your pants, it’s a very weird feeling! The chemotherapy drugs are then gradually injected over about 2 hours. You can’t touch them as they would blister your skin if you did, it is powerful stuff. This is the clever thing about chemo, it is so powerful that it can target and hopefully kill the cancer cells. This obviously can make you very sick in the process but it is amazing how the treatment works. No amount of broccoli is going to have the same effect!

FEC-T is the name of the treatment plan I am on, hence the blog title! There are three rounds of FEC then three rounds of T, the treatments take place every three weeks if I am well enough and my blood count has stabilised. The E part of the treatment is the bright red liquid in the picture on the right; this is the drug that can make your hair fall out. Everyone is different but it could come out in a few days or a couple of weeks, but definitely before the next treatment. I keep checking my pillow in the morning to see if any has fallen out yet! I’m hoping to have a little head shaving gathering with the girls in a couple of weeks once I feel well enough. I wanted to try out a couple of styles as well, like a mullet and a mow hawk! But I might not get a chance if it all falls out before that. Fingers crossed it lasts!

At the moment I feel pretty rough and I’m sleeping a lot, I also feel sick. I’m on a course of steroids and anti-sickness drugs for the first few days so I will potentially feel worse towards the end of the week when they wear off. It’s hard to know really. It will be good to get through the first cycle to get to know how I will feel as this will be an indication of how I will feel through the rest of the treatment; although it will get worse as the drugs build up in my system. It will be a bit like Groundhog Day for the next few months. But I am glad to be on the road to the end.

Thanks to Bex for coming up with me for my first treatment!! You are a very good PA making all those notes for me and a list of what not to forget with tick boxes!! I loved that. Thanks to Chloe and Charlie for my valentine’s card, flowers and cup cakes in a zebra print box!! How cool is that. Thanks to all the girls for all your messages! And of course to Mum (love the zebra blanket!), Dad, Mat, Em and Pres for all your help, support and love every day.

(Please note that I am not a medical professional so don’t rely on any of the above as fact; these are details as I have understood them and could be inaccurate or just relevant to me! And if any of the details above are not correct please let me know!)

My Wiggle

My Wiggle

Did you know that the official name for a group of wigs is a mop? Thank you Pil for this gem of information! A mop of wigs, it doesn’t quite sound right. I personally think it should be called a wiggle; this makes much more sense to me. So that’s what I’m going to call it. My wiggle is coming along nicely; I have a lovely collection now, as you’ll see from the picture, but more about that in a minute.

So the CT scans came back all clear. I can’t tell you how relieved I was. Well I can, it was like an enormous weight had been lifted and I had a little cry. It was like winning the lottery, only without the cash. I had been really scared about the results, I’m not going to lie, I was really scared. I’ve also had a consultation with my oncoplastic surgeon. This was to discuss the operation following chemo. There are a number of options including an immediate reconstruction using tissue from my back (a 6 hour operation with 8 weeks recovery time) and a mastectomy followed by a reconstruction up to a year later. There are pros and cons to each option and my brain felt a bit like mashed potato following the discussions. Over the next month I need to consider the options, carry out research and make the tough decision over which is the best route to take. Not an easy task.

Anyway, back to the important business of my wiggle. I went to Bristol to pick up my fabulous long blond wig, it’s amazing. It actually felt very strange having long hair again, as I’m so used to my pob now! But I love it! The charity ‘My New Hair’ (www.mynewhair.org) was set up by Trevor Sorbie, hairdressers around the country give their time for free to work with people effected by Cancer. They select and style wigs to help them through the trauma of hair loss. Mark @ Hush salon in Bristol is wonderful! He helped me to choose my new wig and then styled it to ensure it was perfect. He also styled my black wig as well!

Can you tell it's a wig?

Thanks to my lovely friend for helping me to organise the trip. Big thanks also to Soph, Bex and Flower for accompanying me on the wig journey(s) to Bristol. It means a lot. A sneaky bit of shopping might have been included and of course the mothership!! Xx

Next step is chemo. I have my first treatment on the 13^th Feb and find out more at a pre-chemo meeting this Friday. It’s hard for them to predict the side effects that I might experience as everyone is so different. I get really travel sick which indicates that I may experience quite bad sickness; so I’ve requested super strong anti-sickness drugs which should hopefully help. It feels weird that they have to make me sick to eventually make me better. But it feels good to be starting treatment as once I start I can begin to see the end of the battle.